urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chokeondeadhope lost in the air lost in the air lost in the air 2006-02-07T20:22:31Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chokeondeadhope:23169 chokeondeadhope @ 2006-02-07T15:20:00 2006-02-07T20:21:41Z 2006-02-07T20:22:31Z <center></center><div class='ljparseerror'>[<b>Error:</b> Irreparable invalid markup ('&lt;embed=&quot;true&quot;&gt;') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]<br /><br /><div style="width: 95%; overflow: auto">&lt;center&gt;&lt;embed=&quot;true&quot; allowScriptAccess=&quot;never&quot;src=&quot;http://www.hrtwrk.com/video/gooddoctor.mov&quot; type=&quot;application/x-mplayer2&quot; width=&quot;300&quot; height=&quot;300&quot; =&quot;true&quot;&gt;&lt;/embed&gt;</div></div> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chokeondeadhope:22808 chokeondeadhope @ 2005-12-07T15:43:00 2005-12-07T20:43:30Z 2005-12-07T20:47:25Z I hate people.<br /><br />I hate relationships.<br /><br />I hate two of my ex things.<br /><br />I hate how it feels like, even after a year, they just used me.<br /><br />I hate how I don't hate the other ex thing.<br /><br />I hate how I actually care about him.<br /><br />I hate how we're just magically just supossed to go back to being normal friends.<br /><br />I hate how we never really were normal friends.<br /><br />I hate how I'm obsessing.<br /><br />I hate that I fell for him.<br /><br />I hate that I fell HARD.<br /><br />I hate how I'm not totally crushed at this point.<br /><br />I hate that I don't know if even talking to him is worth it.<br /><br />I hate how I want to talk to him.<br /><br />I hate how I don't want to talk to him.<br /><br />I hate how this is all at once.<br /><br />I hate how he's happy.<br /><br />I hate how I'm trying, but nothing is working.<br /><br />I hate how everything still reminds me of him.<br /><br />I hate that my iPod is on shuffle but his songs keep popping up.<br /><br />I hate Panera.<br /><br />I hate Denny's.<br /><br />I hate Coney Island.<br /><br />I hate McDonalds.<br /><br />I hate the firehall.<br /><br />I hate my front porch.<br /><br />I hate my brothers goddamn train set.<br /><br />I hate orange.<br /><br />I hate Eat n Park.<br /><br />I hate Taco Bell.<br /><br />I hate how I don't mind smoking.<br /><br />I hate all my favorite songs.<br /><br />I hate holding hands.<br /> <br />I hate kissing. <br /><br />I hate hugs that actually mean something. <br /><br />I hate that I went to that show that one time and met that one kid that turned out to be my boyfriend but my parents didn't want me to date him. <br /><br />I hate that we broke up because of that.<br /> <br />I hate how I like talking to him.<br /><br />Okay, I hate how I love talking to him.<br /><br />I hate that I feel like I was holding him back from everything.<br /><br />I hate how I really want to wait one year and six months to date him.<br /><br />I hate how I don't think he'll remember me.<br /><br />I hate how he says he will.<br /><br />I hate the story he said about my 18th birthday and the grocery store.<br /><br />I hate that I want really badly for him to wait.<br /><br />I hate how he probably won't.<br /><br />I hate how selfish that makes me sound.<br /><br />I hate how I'm not his girlfriend.<br /><br />I hate how badly I want to be.<br /><br />I hate how badly he's probably going to have another girlfriend in a week.<br /><br />I hate that I just now realized I have jealousy issues.<br /><br />I hate how badly I'm going to miss all of this.<br /><br />I hate that I can't be happy right now.<br /><br />I still really do hate how we're just supossed to stay friends.<br /><br />I hate how thats going to be extremely difficult for me.<br /><br />I hate that I don't know why its going to be hard.<br /><br />I hate that I do want to be friends.<br /><br />I hate how at the same time I don't think it's even worth it anymore.